The Boswell Center For Life Enrichment

"I look forward to playing with my schoolmates."

Suggestions for Parents of Individuals with Eating Disorders

DO talk to the person about your concerns, ask questions and listen.	DON’T ever give up; this is a long-term illness and people recover everyday.
DO express your feelings honestly with the person; they sense how you are feeling anyway.	DON’T ignore the problem hoping it will go away; talk about it.
DO let the person know qualities/characteristics (other than physical) you appreciate about them.	DON’T panic. Seek the support you need.
DO plan social activities which do not involve food.	DON’T assume there isn’t a problem if the individual doesn’t show physical symptoms.
DO empower the individual to make their own decisions and be accountable for their decisions.	DON’T force the person to eat or tell them to ‘just eat’.
DO allow the person to be in charge of their routines of daily life, realizing that by giving up control, you’re setting the stage for the person to develop healthy self-control.	DON’T make your love a condition of the individual’s appearance, health, weight, achievements or any other attribute.
DO encourage the person to get a professional assessment, from a practitioner experienced in eating disorders.	DON’T comment positively or negatively on appearance or weight.
DO realize the person is ambivalent about getting well, and takes comfort and feels safe in the control and rituals of the disorder.	DON’T feel you must walk on ‘eggshells’ so the person with the eating disorder won’t be upset.
DO express your care and interest in seeing the person get well.	DON’T let the eating disorder disrupt family routines.
DO inform yourself about the disorders and their treatment, attend support groups and read current literature.	DON’T be manipulative. Be direct with feelings and expectations.
	DON’T try to control the person’s behavior; it can intensify the problem.
	DON’T impose rules except those which are necessary for the individual’s or family’s safety and well being. Avoid power struggles.
	DON’T blame yourself, feel guilty or dwell on causes.
	DON’T tell the anorexic who has gained weight that they look better.
	DON’T expect yourself to be a perfect parent, family member or friend.